Anyway! Life is ever changing. I just finished my freshman year at college and I can't believe how fast time flies! This was honestly the best year of my life. I learned so much about myself. I learned how to talk to people. . not just to chat. . but to really, really talk. To open up and confront an issue with someone that needed to be addressed. . or tell someone I cared about that I cared. . to have DTR's! :P (oh the cliche theme of BYU). . and everything else that comes with college and being able to be face to face all the time with the friends you make. .
I learned to appreciate people from all walks of life. I made friends with people I never would have found myself. God knew I needed to meet them, so he carefully placed them in my life to learn and grow. Whether it was a 28 year old, married, convert from Mongolia who is learning English, or a spunky girl from California (don't take offense--I'm an Idahoan--there are definitely differences), I have learned that I can accept and appreciate differences. I can learn from them. EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING TO OFFER, and I can learn something from everyone that comes into my life. I'm so grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who knew what, and more importantly, who, I needed this year.
I learned what it really means to be in a ward family. My ward was INCREDIBLE beyond description. No words I can say will do them justice, but they truly taught me about the Spirit of God and the spirit of love. The power of their testimonies will never be forgotten. I miss you, YSA 51st!!!! You are the best ward and the best bishop ever. I'll never forget you.
I learned that maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was, but that I'm not alone. I definitely hadn't reached my growth cap before coming here. . I had no idea what was coming. Trials of all kinds have hit this year and I have been pushed to and beyond my capacity frequently. Learning to budget, to make my own diet, to work 20 hours a week, while trying to balance that with sleep, homework, and socialization, while dealing with the ups and downs of friendships and relationships as well as spiritual trials and the test of my standards and my faith, I have grown so much. I have come to learn more about God and His loving, tender mercies. He'll be there to lift me up and carry me through the hard times, yet give me the best of blessings so that the good times are truly good. I guess you could say I have learned the Law of Opposition.
This year has been my refiner's fire, and as difficult and miserable that it has been at times, it has been just as wonderful and joyous at other times. I'm thankful for all the people and experiences I have had to bring me to this point in my journey. Change is really hard, and I can't say that this transition to living off-campus and working full-time, and saying bye to my old friends has been easy. But I can say that I will cherish the memories we made. This is why it is called bittersweet, and not just bitter. We can look back and say, "Hey, we did it. We went through a lot to together and we came out victorious. We made the most of the time we had." As I talked to my dad about this change, the advice he gave helped me realize that goodbye doesn't mean the memories didn't happen. And it doesn't mean the friends I've made disappear in order for me to make new ones. These new friends are simply an addition to the growing list of people, of friends, who have walked into my life for a reason. I'm adding, not replacing.
Sorry this post was so long, but there was really a lot entailed in the last year of my life. :P If all you read is the last couple lines, that's fine. What I want to say is that change is hard. . it can be heart-wrenching. . But it is necessary in our progression. And hey, we wouldn't be able to look back at the last year and say we loved it and missed it had we not accepted the changes that it brought. We get what we give, people. And I'd like to say, even more. :) Because Heavenly Father is just that loving. What we give isn't enough, but because of His Son, with our best, He can make up the difference. As Nichole Nordeman sings in the song, "I Am",
"The winds of change
And circumstance blow in and all around
us so we find a foothold that’s familiar,
And bless the moments that we feel You nearer"
Thank you, freshman year, 2011-2012! You will never be forgotten! :)
